The Saga Continues....
Returning to daily life is a bit difficult after coming face to face with your greatest fear. I calmed myself over the past couple of days knowing that the deceased was out and in the garbage. Also, our landlady had the guys come in and mouse proof the home...or did they? Ever since my devastating encounter I've being seeing things, feeling like something is in my peripheral but when I turn to look...nothing. I have PTSD...self diagnosed of course. I mean, I have to make noises before I enter a room to make myself known. Throwing a shoe into the kitchen before entering, kicking the wall several times leaving black smudge marks, or when I had nothing...screaming at the top of my lungs. I just didn't want to see the damn thing.
When the guys came, sure, they bought shit loads of mouse poison and placed a hefty amount, visible to the naked eye in each corner of each room on each floor. Then, went out back and sprinkled some back there. I did not feel very calm. They did not plug up any holes. They did not place any more traps down but they knew what they were doing, right?
I couldn't have been more wrong. After getting home from work and doing my daily ritual that could easily be considered OCD as result of my PTSD I went into the kitchen to throw a piece of trash away. AND YET AGAIN...the corners of my eyes picked up what my brain was too slow to capture. But I let it go, I recognize my mind is playing tricks on me...besides, Courtney agreed that I could just be over reacting, we hadn't seen any in a while.
Secretly, I knew that mouse was in there. I just didn't say anything. I did not want to be one of those people screaming and crying claiming they'd seen a ghost when nothing was there...but then, I had to face the back door again. We had a visitor coming and I wanted to tidy. So, I went to throw the garbage out the back. I was terrified and now sick with the flu. Upon opening the back door...A MOUSE! A MOUSE! A MOUSE! I'd let it in Jesus...a mouse ran inside and I let it in. Crying now...profusely as our visitor arrives. I try and compose myself...I want to get this trash out, I move towards the back door...I start to speak in tongues preparing myself because what I saw next brought me the closest I'd ever come to having a heart attack. The mouse was in the trash can!! I could not control myself. "Listen, I am terrified and there is a mouse in the trash can...can you please take it out." Luckily, he understood. Did I mention he was the ADT guy coming to put in our alarm system in?
Later that day, Amber comes over to hang out and watch television. I missed her. I forgave her for her horrid laughter after my near death experience. I was sick with the flu too...so, if by chance she got it, she deserved it! Anyway, I start to calm a bit more, besides the fact that I am heavily sedated and nestled in my sofa with two pair of pants, two pair of socks, two blankets, a sweatshirt, a scarf and a comforter, I was ready to watch "The Notebook" and cry like a blubbering baby! I couldn't be more happy when Courtney and Amber go to the store to spoil me with snacks of my choosing! Yes! It was on...
The lights are off, except the kitchen of course, television volume is on high and Ryan Gosling is on the screen...yes, I was in heaven. Until Amber with her super night vision..."There it is! There's the mouse." The mouse was in THE LIVING ROOM!!! NO, THIS CANNOT BE!! MY LIVING ROOM...WHERE I LOUNGE! I felt sure I was going to pass out. We turned on the lights to try and scare it. But the lights kept flicking on and off...they wouldn't stay on. AM I IN THE TWILIGHT ZONE...IS SOMEONE PLAYING A MEAN JOKE? PLEASE GOD!! Once the lights were on..the mouse went nowhere. That saying that they are more scared of you then you are of it! hmph...bullshit! This creature wasn't afraid at all. It kept running back and forth on the floor and behind the couch. I felt as if I was in a war zone..without a shield, no guns, no bombs.....nothing....then out of nowhere...Amber yells, "It went into the couch!" Tears welled in my eyes...
The sheer audacity! I now felt like this mouse was mocking me!!! Playing me as if I really were Tom and he was Jerry! Like he'd been Speedy Gonzales in a past life! Well...this is not a cartoon sir this is not a game. This is my life you’re dealing with here, my comfort...this is my home damn it!! And this....this means war!
To be continued....
Returning to daily life is a bit difficult after coming face to face with your greatest fear. I calmed myself over the past couple of days knowing that the deceased was out and in the garbage. Also, our landlady had the guys come in and mouse proof the home...or did they? Ever since my devastating encounter I've being seeing things, feeling like something is in my peripheral but when I turn to look...nothing. I have PTSD...self diagnosed of course. I mean, I have to make noises before I enter a room to make myself known. Throwing a shoe into the kitchen before entering, kicking the wall several times leaving black smudge marks, or when I had nothing...screaming at the top of my lungs. I just didn't want to see the damn thing.
When the guys came, sure, they bought shit loads of mouse poison and placed a hefty amount, visible to the naked eye in each corner of each room on each floor. Then, went out back and sprinkled some back there. I did not feel very calm. They did not plug up any holes. They did not place any more traps down but they knew what they were doing, right?
I couldn't have been more wrong. After getting home from work and doing my daily ritual that could easily be considered OCD as result of my PTSD I went into the kitchen to throw a piece of trash away. AND YET AGAIN...the corners of my eyes picked up what my brain was too slow to capture. But I let it go, I recognize my mind is playing tricks on me...besides, Courtney agreed that I could just be over reacting, we hadn't seen any in a while.
Secretly, I knew that mouse was in there. I just didn't say anything. I did not want to be one of those people screaming and crying claiming they'd seen a ghost when nothing was there...but then, I had to face the back door again. We had a visitor coming and I wanted to tidy. So, I went to throw the garbage out the back. I was terrified and now sick with the flu. Upon opening the back door...A MOUSE! A MOUSE! A MOUSE! I'd let it in Jesus...a mouse ran inside and I let it in. Crying now...profusely as our visitor arrives. I try and compose myself...I want to get this trash out, I move towards the back door...I start to speak in tongues preparing myself because what I saw next brought me the closest I'd ever come to having a heart attack. The mouse was in the trash can!! I could not control myself. "Listen, I am terrified and there is a mouse in the trash can...can you please take it out." Luckily, he understood. Did I mention he was the ADT guy coming to put in our alarm system in?
Later that day, Amber comes over to hang out and watch television. I missed her. I forgave her for her horrid laughter after my near death experience. I was sick with the flu too...so, if by chance she got it, she deserved it! Anyway, I start to calm a bit more, besides the fact that I am heavily sedated and nestled in my sofa with two pair of pants, two pair of socks, two blankets, a sweatshirt, a scarf and a comforter, I was ready to watch "The Notebook" and cry like a blubbering baby! I couldn't be more happy when Courtney and Amber go to the store to spoil me with snacks of my choosing! Yes! It was on...
The lights are off, except the kitchen of course, television volume is on high and Ryan Gosling is on the screen...yes, I was in heaven. Until Amber with her super night vision..."There it is! There's the mouse." The mouse was in THE LIVING ROOM!!! NO, THIS CANNOT BE!! MY LIVING ROOM...WHERE I LOUNGE! I felt sure I was going to pass out. We turned on the lights to try and scare it. But the lights kept flicking on and off...they wouldn't stay on. AM I IN THE TWILIGHT ZONE...IS SOMEONE PLAYING A MEAN JOKE? PLEASE GOD!! Once the lights were on..the mouse went nowhere. That saying that they are more scared of you then you are of it! hmph...bullshit! This creature wasn't afraid at all. It kept running back and forth on the floor and behind the couch. I felt as if I was in a war zone..without a shield, no guns, no bombs.....nothing....then out of nowhere...Amber yells, "It went into the couch!" Tears welled in my eyes...
The sheer audacity! I now felt like this mouse was mocking me!!! Playing me as if I really were Tom and he was Jerry! Like he'd been Speedy Gonzales in a past life! Well...this is not a cartoon sir this is not a game. This is my life you’re dealing with here, my comfort...this is my home damn it!! And this....this means war!
To be continued....
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