Understatement

Missing you
Has become a full time occupation
with no leave or vacation
I get no sick days or holidays with pay.
I make a living of living in the thoughts of your absence
And I'm lacking
Sleep and concentration
unable to focus on fruitful moments that don't include you
so accustom to you occupying moments in my mind
that there are no longer vacant spaces
but emptiness lingers in different hiding places, like..
your fingertips, that use to speak whispers across my skin
but now just images of hands that mirror my own exist
like lips that remained locked up, kidnapped within mine
but somehow escaped my captivity, leaving it hollow.
but what is a cell without its mate?
like the hypnotic song that fills your eyes
melting me into a melody,
but what of it no lyrics?
like..the cosmic molecular kinetic energy
that has no electricity
I have no power
like stars burning in a sky with no darkness I cant shine
like trees with no roots, I cant grow
like books with no pages, I cant be read
like pens with no ink, I don't write
like letters that don't make words, I'm senseless
rhyme without reason
seasons that don't change
wounds with no pain, I don't feel,
like me without you is surreal,
so to say that I miss you...
is an understatement
with undertones that don't fit, with a meaning that don't exist in this instance
because I miss you, are words, and what bleeds from me are feelings that can't be heard.
Its absurd because as a poet, I'm the cure for a writers block
describing feelings unwritten is my prophecy
but no one could foresee this level of dependency
on three words...that lacked depth...to mean more
so for lack of better words
I miss you.

Dear God

Dear God,
I'm angry.
pain seeps in like a lost anomaly
trapped in a position
catatonic stage of misguided transition
and mad because,
I really feel like you ain't been listening.
I mean,
I've tried all kinds of ways to get you to help me,
I've cried to you in times of solitude,
silently waiting for some serenity that was never granted
granted maybe i needed to speak words to you
Thats what Nana said do.
I did it.
cried out to you for advice on how to fight this depression
stuck in a job that will never allow me to reach my full potential
family is no longer essential
because they got their own issues
I need you, where are you?
but I'm smart enough to not pray for the superficial
so i ask for strength and guidance
but these tears prove my weakness and
i even ask for patience
but all this waiting,
got my mind thinking, i got better things to do
faithless, felt like my faith was of no use to you
i got no proof
people keep saying in due time
well why? why instill in me the constant need to succeed
if all i can do is
go about my day, pray, make moves i think to do and wait on you?

Dear God
I'm afraid.
for feeling this way
because I'm not an ungrateful child
so I know what I owe to you
but like i said I'm angry
and you said to always be honest with you
so that's what I'll do
Here's my truth,
i feel like I've been submitting my will over and over again
and you just took it, glanced through it as if
it were irrelevant
and now I'm wondering
what I can do to cure this lack of loyalty
cuz praying ain't giving me no sense of peace

Dear God,
do you hear me?