Insides

I want to snatch these knots that have dug a grave in my stomach out and hand them to you
so you can see what they've done to my insides

I want to drain my body of water
so that tears are no longer a possibility

I want to have my brain worked on
in that sunshine of the spotless mind kind of way

I want to have my heart mechanically timed
so that it could never race again-just. stay. on. one. beat

I want to remove my eardrums and become deaf
so that the sounds of songs won't remind me of you

I want to lose my sense to smell
so some one's scent won't linger like yours.

I want to develop some impossible to pronounce and rare disease
one that will make me unable to feel emotion.

I want for all my limbs to fall asleep in that prickly kind of way and remain in R.E.M
so that a touch can't be felt or remembered.

I want to remove the place where my soul resides and fill it with sand
so that it can't feel empty without a mate.

I want for the want of wanting you to disappear completely cuz clearly its messing with my insides.

Future Conversations w/my BFF

DR:  Where are you in the world?

DK:  In a place of poetry.

DR:  How long will you stay there?

DK:  For as long as I can be.

DR:  How did you get there?

DK:  By riding on your poems, like the one you wrote about music and notes…remember that one?

DR:  I remember. Will you miss me?

DK:  For longer than words can describe. And u? Where r u?

DR:  Vacationing in a soliloquy.

DK:  Oh really? How’s that?

DR:  Like a couplet or a haiku, short but means a lot.

DK:  Sounds as satisfying as poem after writers block.

DR: (laughs) Not that good.

DK: (laughs)…nothing is.

DR: I will see you soon.

DK: Loving you through poetry?

DR: Always.

DK:  Always.

DR/DK: Obama.

Engaged

The day we met
I could feel the earth shake beneath me
literally
move me
moving me into believing that what i was feeling was make believe
as if i'd been dropped into fairytale.
bc usually
this isn't what i'm use to,
i'm use to the reality of falling for someone
who cant spell reciprocity,
let alone grant it to me.
caring for some1 that couldn't comprehend loyalty.
placing my heart on a limb
only to find that they couldn't do vulnerability
emotionally incarcerated
i was jailed in but like a fairytale you came and
rescued me.
showed me what it was like to be loved unconditionally.
taught of living in my beliefs and not just in speaks-
spoke to me passionately-
openly showing me that you were open to me
not afraid of loving me openly
opposing all negativity-u are opium to me.
so high,
how could i ever refuse you?
that would be insanity....
and i'm not feeling any screws loose.
so when you ask me to trust,
i will deliberately.
when you need me in times that are wary, i'll already be sitting next to you.
when you tell me your darkest secrets, i will become mute.
when you cry tears, i will cry them with you.
when the world is crashing towards you like a mack ten truck, i will shield you.
and when you forget of love, i will be here to remind you my love
and this is all, only in my engagement to you
wait until i marry you
and all the promises that will ensue

Written specifically for the engagement of Missy Lane and Chris T.