Untitled(Maybe Later I will title it-Suggestions are Welcomed)

In mid day
the sun is peaked.
Blinding,

Curving through lanes and
my thoughts consume me,
milking every memory.

You were beautiful when you
needed my hands at your
face and lips.

Daydreams are bountiful
when honking horns and
bumpers bump, jerking,
I am somewhere else.

In a beat while reading
Neruda,
smelling hot cocoa
and apple pie with
vanilla milk shakes and dog
hair on my sweatshirt.

Switching lanes and going
60 in a 30,
Thinking of first
kisses and feeling like I found
a part of me,
taking it with you along
with your midnight whispers
of dreams you woke from and reliving them again with me.

Traffic playing red light, green light and I'm
losing,
running reds,
skipping stops signs.
Wreckless.

I shared you for a brief
moment, and like the sun
with your blinding rays, you
set.

Leaving me in darkness,
trying to remember
Neruda poems while
driving.

PURGE: Poet's Cut

These are potential poems, random thoughts or poems that I don't have the words to to finish. Let me know what you think or feel.


1.
"If success is
what you make it,
Imma need directions.
A journey,
Imma need a road map


Cuz I'm lost in here, too many wrong turns
my vision is unclear and I'm sitting here looking in the rear
checkin to see if my sanity is sitting back there next to my confidence...
both silently looking at me confused,
wondering how long this ride is and why this ride hasn't turned into a destination,
fuck it! cuz now we all I'm impatient.
I'm exhausted from wasted time,
foot on pedal....roll down all the windows and close my eyes.


(This poem was written in a time and place I have no interest of remembering but its weird because I realize now that it seems so suicidal. Although, I don't believe it was meant to be, It just expresses by frustrations and eagerness to just be done with stresses and the need to feel free.)


2.
"Your name in my phone is saved:
First Name: Disappearing
Last Name: Acts
Nickname: "The Magician"


(This is true. Its a reminder of every time he calls...I'm reminded that soon he'll be gone. I don't know, some things you choose to put up with. Well...until you get tired.)


3.
You knew I would only exit in case of emergency
Falsely, you pulled the alarm.
I didn't feel the heat.
Clearly.
You did.


(This is short and to the point. But this can be placed in any situation where you are unwilling to let go and alternative forces make you. You don't have a choice, sometimes it boils down to you or me and if your sane...you will always choose self.)


4.
Things are so different now
I wish I could take back some of the irresponsible things I did
but I can't.
I'm stuck waddling in the consequences
and it seems as if i still haven't learned anything yet.


(This piece is titled, "Failed Apology" I'm just gonna trust that you get it.)


5.
I hate thinking and missing you especially when neither of the two is something you do in reference to me


(This is probably my favorite line, not because of the meaning, although it definitely encapsulate a lot of what I feel, its my favorite because of its symmetry and ability to mean so much with so little words. You can say this to someone and they understand exactly what you feel without speaking another word. I just admire the simplicity of it and the amazing ways in which words can be placed together to mean more that what you initially expected.)


Thank you. Please comment on my comments or share your thoughts/feelings about my Purge: Poet's Cut.


DK

Insides

I want to snatch these knots that have dug a grave in my stomach out and hand them to you
so you can see what they've done to my insides

I want to drain my body of water
so that tears are no longer a possibility

I want to have my brain worked on
in that sunshine of the spotless mind kind of way

I want to have my heart mechanically timed
so that it could never race again-just. stay. on. one. beat

I want to remove my eardrums and become deaf
so that the sounds of songs won't remind me of you

I want to lose my sense to smell
so some one's scent won't linger like yours.

I want to develop some impossible to pronounce and rare disease
one that will make me unable to feel emotion.

I want for all my limbs to fall asleep in that prickly kind of way and remain in R.E.M
so that a touch can't be felt or remembered.

I want to remove the place where my soul resides and fill it with sand
so that it can't feel empty without a mate.

I want for the want of wanting you to disappear completely cuz clearly its messing with my insides.

Future Conversations w/my BFF

DR:  Where are you in the world?

DK:  In a place of poetry.

DR:  How long will you stay there?

DK:  For as long as I can be.

DR:  How did you get there?

DK:  By riding on your poems, like the one you wrote about music and notes…remember that one?

DR:  I remember. Will you miss me?

DK:  For longer than words can describe. And u? Where r u?

DR:  Vacationing in a soliloquy.

DK:  Oh really? How’s that?

DR:  Like a couplet or a haiku, short but means a lot.

DK:  Sounds as satisfying as poem after writers block.

DR: (laughs) Not that good.

DK: (laughs)…nothing is.

DR: I will see you soon.

DK: Loving you through poetry?

DR: Always.

DK:  Always.

DR/DK: Obama.

Dear God

Dear God,
I'm angry.
pain seeps in like a lost anomaly
trapped in a position
catatonic stage of misguided transition
and mad because,
I really feel like you ain't been listening.
I mean,
I've tried all kinds of ways to get you to help me,
I've cried to you in times of solitude,
silently waiting for some serenity that was never granted
granted maybe i needed to speak words to you
Thats what Nana said do.
I did it.
cried out to you for advice on how to fight this depression
stuck in a job that will never allow me to reach my full potential
family is no longer essential
because they got their own issues
I need you, where are you?
but I'm smart enough to not pray for the superficial
so i ask for strength and guidance
but these tears prove my weakness and
i even ask for patience
but all this waiting,
got my mind thinking, i got better things to do
faithless, felt like my faith was of no use to you
i got no proof
people keep saying in due time
well why? why instill in me the constant need to succeed
if all i can do is
go about my day, pray, make moves i think to do and wait on you?

Dear God
I'm afraid.
for feeling this way
because I'm not an ungrateful child
so I know what I owe to you
but like i said I'm angry
and you said to always be honest with you
so that's what I'll do
Here's my truth,
i feel like I've been submitting my will over and over again
and you just took it, glanced through it as if
it were irrelevant
and now I'm wondering
what I can do to cure this lack of loyalty
cuz praying ain't giving me no sense of peace

Dear God,
do you hear me?