Part III
That fateful night, I decided to declare war on the terrorists that were so happily taking over my home. I was restless. I tossed and turned from fever due to my full blown influenza that felt like a direct result from my boxing classes, fear and stress. My immune system was giving up on me but I had to pull through. I was in a war zone. Sickness is prevalent and expected, as a warrior you look to the goal, you look for the win and nothing else. This is how you survive! So, in turn, I focused my fear and turned it into anger and the ever present driving force of war, ego! My pride could not let this small minuscule speck of nothingness rule my home life creating a hazardous atmosphere preventing me from inviting guess, going into my kitchen or taking the trash out. I had developed OCD as a direct result of my PTS for Christ's sake! My mind was setting in my sleeplessness, tomorrow early in the morning I would wake Courtney and share with her the strategies I'd conspired.
Morning....
My cell phone alarm sounds at 7am on Sunday morning but I'm already dressed in the bed. The comforter flies off as I go to brush my teeth, put my sneakers on and wake up Courtney. Walking down the stairs I prep myself...losing all focus on the fact that I'm sweating and having chills from the influenza that has me in a death grip, I go in Courtney's room. Meekly, "Courtney, you awake?" Courtney takes the cover from over her head and looks at me, "are you seriously fully dressed?" Needless to say, she turned over. "Okay.....well you take five and I'll warm up the car." She mumbled something like crazy and some other obscene words...she think I ain't hear her...I heard her. As lieutenant, yes I ranked myself, you have to take shit and this time would be no different. HOME DEPOT BOUND! (This is the point in the story Courtney is calling me delusional)
I wasn't going to cut any corners or make any mistakes so I went to the Home Depot over there by the Ikea, you know where the white folks shop? I knew they would have everything I needed and maybe some stuff we'd never heard of. Driving, we listened to war songs like Jazmine Sullivan's "Holding you Down" and Rihanna's "Shot A Man Down."
This was it! This is where we bought our weapons of mass destruction, machinery our survival kits. Our training came from hard core encounters with the culprit, we knew what to expect but we still consulted some of the Home Depot experts...giving us pointers on how to attack the situation. We bought glue stick traps to capture, poison for the backyard to keep them at bay, steel wool (I was excited to know that they would chew on this and choke to death) and the secret weapon a bomb. Yes, you read correctly, a bomb. I was a bit nervous about this bomb thing, I must admit but Courtney, also Lieutenant, was gun ho! She was like..."hell yea I wanna buy this! I wanna kill all of the motha fuckers!" This reminded me of that movie, Inglorious Basterds, where Brad Pitt said this exact line but added that he wanted the Nazi's scalps....
I was amped and charged by her forceful and no holds bar tactics. She was the right hand I needed in this time of war. We bought the bomb. Traveling back into battle field was nerve racking but we were ready, we were prepared. With warrior gear on, everything short of black tar smeared across our faces...we were ready. The plan was to set the bomb first. Outside in the front, we tagged teamed, digging a deep enough whole for the bomb. Its was ready, "Okay Court, light the bomb." We were in the dark of the night, wind whipping and lighting this bomb was impossible but dire. Out of the winds direction, I covered with my hands as she lit..."Go, go go go go..drop it" I covered it with dirt and the flower pot. We had five seconds remaining before we inhaled the toxins, running for the door we made it.
I noticed the fumes engorging us inside...I opened the window at the top levels. Quick thinking had saved our lives. As the bomb killed all those who were thinking of infiltrating gave us encouragement, we hit the kitchen next, pulling the refrigerator out, the washer and dryer and the stove, we had to find where they were coming from. But first prayer...Courtney's suggestion. At this point, I had so much hate in my heart for these vermin, it never crossed my mind to pray. Courtney led the prayer, asking God for strength and the ability to overcome our fears. I lusted for revenge.
The prayer circle ended and we went in-- yanking and pulling appliances. My flu was non-existent. Bingo! back behind the fridge and under the back door. That steel wool was a mutha but I had gloves and scissor, vigorously plugging up holes and setting peanut butter induced tramps. Lets see them get in or out alive!
Now the living room, this was a bit more difficult, the last place we saw the enemy. We knew he was hiding somewhere but our strategy was to scare it before it scared us. Spraying down the sofa with Lysol and disinfectant would do the trick. Pulling the sofas apart, no fear...no fear...no fear and moving them out of place...and then the muthfucka rears its ugly head (while your at war you curse a lot). CODE BLUE CODE BLUE...WE'VE GOT ACTION UP UNDER THE CUSHION ON THE FLOOR. One of us has to move it...as lieutenant, I took the lead. poking at the cushions, we don't see it. "we're did it go?!" Behind the love seat! Courtney points, and in sheer amazement...we watch the mouse climb into the corners of wall...I nose dive with my steel wool. Choke on this bitch...
We haven't seen one mouse since.
"I survived because I had no other choice, because my sister was there the whole way (tearing up) going through this with me and because we had the grace of God leading us. That's why I survived."
The END
That fateful night, I decided to declare war on the terrorists that were so happily taking over my home. I was restless. I tossed and turned from fever due to my full blown influenza that felt like a direct result from my boxing classes, fear and stress. My immune system was giving up on me but I had to pull through. I was in a war zone. Sickness is prevalent and expected, as a warrior you look to the goal, you look for the win and nothing else. This is how you survive! So, in turn, I focused my fear and turned it into anger and the ever present driving force of war, ego! My pride could not let this small minuscule speck of nothingness rule my home life creating a hazardous atmosphere preventing me from inviting guess, going into my kitchen or taking the trash out. I had developed OCD as a direct result of my PTS for Christ's sake! My mind was setting in my sleeplessness, tomorrow early in the morning I would wake Courtney and share with her the strategies I'd conspired.
Morning....
My cell phone alarm sounds at 7am on Sunday morning but I'm already dressed in the bed. The comforter flies off as I go to brush my teeth, put my sneakers on and wake up Courtney. Walking down the stairs I prep myself...losing all focus on the fact that I'm sweating and having chills from the influenza that has me in a death grip, I go in Courtney's room. Meekly, "Courtney, you awake?" Courtney takes the cover from over her head and looks at me, "are you seriously fully dressed?" Needless to say, she turned over. "Okay.....well you take five and I'll warm up the car." She mumbled something like crazy and some other obscene words...she think I ain't hear her...I heard her. As lieutenant, yes I ranked myself, you have to take shit and this time would be no different. HOME DEPOT BOUND! (This is the point in the story Courtney is calling me delusional)
I wasn't going to cut any corners or make any mistakes so I went to the Home Depot over there by the Ikea, you know where the white folks shop? I knew they would have everything I needed and maybe some stuff we'd never heard of. Driving, we listened to war songs like Jazmine Sullivan's "Holding you Down" and Rihanna's "Shot A Man Down."
This was it! This is where we bought our weapons of mass destruction, machinery our survival kits. Our training came from hard core encounters with the culprit, we knew what to expect but we still consulted some of the Home Depot experts...giving us pointers on how to attack the situation. We bought glue stick traps to capture, poison for the backyard to keep them at bay, steel wool (I was excited to know that they would chew on this and choke to death) and the secret weapon a bomb. Yes, you read correctly, a bomb. I was a bit nervous about this bomb thing, I must admit but Courtney, also Lieutenant, was gun ho! She was like..."hell yea I wanna buy this! I wanna kill all of the motha fuckers!" This reminded me of that movie, Inglorious Basterds, where Brad Pitt said this exact line but added that he wanted the Nazi's scalps....
I was amped and charged by her forceful and no holds bar tactics. She was the right hand I needed in this time of war. We bought the bomb. Traveling back into battle field was nerve racking but we were ready, we were prepared. With warrior gear on, everything short of black tar smeared across our faces...we were ready. The plan was to set the bomb first. Outside in the front, we tagged teamed, digging a deep enough whole for the bomb. Its was ready, "Okay Court, light the bomb." We were in the dark of the night, wind whipping and lighting this bomb was impossible but dire. Out of the winds direction, I covered with my hands as she lit..."Go, go go go go..drop it" I covered it with dirt and the flower pot. We had five seconds remaining before we inhaled the toxins, running for the door we made it.
I noticed the fumes engorging us inside...I opened the window at the top levels. Quick thinking had saved our lives. As the bomb killed all those who were thinking of infiltrating gave us encouragement, we hit the kitchen next, pulling the refrigerator out, the washer and dryer and the stove, we had to find where they were coming from. But first prayer...Courtney's suggestion. At this point, I had so much hate in my heart for these vermin, it never crossed my mind to pray. Courtney led the prayer, asking God for strength and the ability to overcome our fears. I lusted for revenge.
The prayer circle ended and we went in-- yanking and pulling appliances. My flu was non-existent. Bingo! back behind the fridge and under the back door. That steel wool was a mutha but I had gloves and scissor, vigorously plugging up holes and setting peanut butter induced tramps. Lets see them get in or out alive!
Now the living room, this was a bit more difficult, the last place we saw the enemy. We knew he was hiding somewhere but our strategy was to scare it before it scared us. Spraying down the sofa with Lysol and disinfectant would do the trick. Pulling the sofas apart, no fear...no fear...no fear and moving them out of place...and then the muthfucka rears its ugly head (while your at war you curse a lot). CODE BLUE CODE BLUE...WE'VE GOT ACTION UP UNDER THE CUSHION ON THE FLOOR. One of us has to move it...as lieutenant, I took the lead. poking at the cushions, we don't see it. "we're did it go?!" Behind the love seat! Courtney points, and in sheer amazement...we watch the mouse climb into the corners of wall...I nose dive with my steel wool. Choke on this bitch...
We haven't seen one mouse since.
"I survived because I had no other choice, because my sister was there the whole way (tearing up) going through this with me and because we had the grace of God leading us. That's why I survived."
The END
1 comment:
LOL! great depiction! left me on the edge of my seat!
Post a Comment